What an absolute perfect start to the year. I believe in making people happy and I feel that our debut will put a smile on one or two faces and since I write these columns to entertain or please our fans I thought it was only fair to please the anti- TATNELL fans which I am sure has more fans than the Pro-Tatnell fans. That’s ok because the anti fans still click on here each week to see if I bother to mention them. I know this for a fact because Randy’s Mom sends me hate mail each week but I can’t say that I blame her. Have a look at what she has to claim as a son. He looks like a pot bellied Keynan Marathon runner that does not know how to run. Seriously, it was not the start of the season that we had hoped for.

It was great to see some old friends that used to call you and now don’t hmm I wonder why? It was funny I have never in all of the years I have raced had officials especially the ones that I have raced with over the past three years excited & pleased to see me. From the top of the Outlaws to the one eyed blind useless official that obviously can’t see the white line (Tom) all came over to say “HI” but as soon as I said that Amy & Emma stayed home they all left.

I have to admit this weekend I was ass nervous as a cow being loaded onto a truck or a man going to surgery to get the snip done just in case the doc got scissor happy. This was mainly because I was back to calling the 99%  of the shots and its been 3 years since I’ve had it all on my head. Plus I was not sure what to expect from our motors or what the new VRP shocks would feel like at Knoxville & Outlaw shows are always tough.

As most people know by now as I entered turn one in hot laps something broke in the left rear making it hard for me to breathe as the brown freckle had puckered up to about my chin as it went backwards into the fence wide open. End result was one junked race car. What most people do not know that five minutes prior to the drivers meeting Hannagan had called to wish me good luck on out maiden voyage. Now that is not saying that I blame him but the wankers message says GOOD LUCK, just keep it straight and get through the first night with a good result and build from there. Oh and by the way Mason has been writing Emma love letters. CALL me after the race. What the hell sorta message is that? History will probably show Randy’s Great Grandfather sent a telegram to the Captain of the Titanic to say GOOD LUCK on your maiden voyage just don’t hit any icebergs. When I called him after the races and told him what happened he sounded all concerned and then started to laugh!

 

So this week I have been acting like a spoiled rotten crewcheif and called the driver a non-driving sumbitch as we built a new car.

 

This weekend we have an offer to drive the Olson Family 360 at The Jackson Spring Nationals on Friday before heading to Knoxville for Saturday night.
When the offer came about I headed over to Ron’s house to have a look at the car.
Ron has just finished the car and had not started the motor so he asked me to jump in and start it. BUT on the way to Ron’s house Chicken legs called me so I told him I would call him back on the way home.

 

GUESS WHAT?? As we are pushing the car down the street  a quarter mile to get to private property I hear a familiar sound and lights flashing all over. YEP, we have been pulled over by the cops. For onlookers this must have looked like an episode of cops raiding the local Mexican restaurant as the cops run into the kitchen the cooks have done a runner. This was the same case as when the police looked at the race care for a driver this Aussie was burring Asics rubber on foot faster than a nympho  on his way to the kings cross (Street in Australia where all prostitutes hang)  with a gift voucher.

As the police looked in amazement trying to figure out who to fine?? The cops made the comment “the dune buggy does not look safe“. At that point I offered him a crew chief job on the TLC car because he would have been able to tell me the car was not safe on Saturday night and I would not have crashed.
After about 45 minutes of a near cavity search they made us go and get the hauler to transport the car back to the shop. It was now nearly two hours to start this bloody car.

Look I know the police are only doing their job and I am happy for that but I also did not want to end up with Ron’s wife Marg who works at the prison near their home serving me my dinner on a tray through a door of a cell that I share with a guy named “BUBBA” So by the time you read this I will have cancelled my phone number so Hannagan can’t whish us luck this weekend.

Stop by the pit at Jackson on Friday night or Saturday night at Knoxville and say g’day.